Focus on Forestdale: The Fathering Initiative
The Forestdale Fathering Initiative reconnects fathers with their children. Its counselors teach men of any age the skills they need to reclaim a place in the lives of their children. Helping to understand the roles and responsibilities of fatherhood, the Fathering Initiative pushes men to engage and bond with their children, helping to transcend being a father to be a dad. No men exemplify the qualities espoused by the Fathering Initiative more than Tom Ryer, a Forestdale fathering specialist, and Mukoie Usungu, who heads the Young Fathers program for men under age 24.
The Fathering Initiative is a 12-week job training and parenting course that prepares noncustodial fathers to reclaim a role in their children’s lives. The program helps men step up to the challenges of fatherhood through intensive parenting classes, continuing and job preparedness education, as well as individual and group counseling. Funded largely by the New York City Department of Youth and Community Development (DYCD), the Fathering Initiative has served over 200 families each year since its launch in 1998. In 2009, the Fathering Initiative opened a satellite office on Hillside Avenue in the heart of Jamaica, Queens. Additionally, the program receives crucial corporate sponsorship from the Verizon Foundation, which is dedicated to preventing domestic violence through education, relief, and empowerment.
Tom Ryer dedicates his life to youth service with unrivalled passion. As a result of personal experience as a youth, he prides himself as serving as an example and teacher to those young people currently in difficult circumstances. Tom enjoys the opportunity for personal contact with his clients, and he immerses himself into his work as a result. For him, his life and his work are one and the same.
As the youngest of fourteen siblings, Tom brings a unique perspective to his work. He recounts that as a function of being at the bottom of such a heap, it took until age 35 for his identity to clarify. He says, “I was told, ‘You have potential. What are you doing here?’” At that point, he entered the ministry with the determination to help those youth in situations similar to his own.
His experience as the youngest of more than a dozen siblings is not the only personal memory Tom brings to his daily work as a youth counselor. “My father was always in and out, in and out” of his life, he tells. Thus, one of the points he most emphasizes at Forestdale is the importance of the mother-father relationship to a child’s growth. Without a solid relationship between the parents, a child lacks an example of how to stay grounded. Tom teaches that to be a better father, the most crucial step is to become a better person.
Tom strives to be “an example, an educator, a healer.” To that end, he is currently a candidate for a doctorate in education. With his degree, Tom plans to continue his work in youth service, bringing honesty, consistency and the courage to step out and deal with problems to the youth he reaches.
Mukoie Usungu entered the field of social work through the side door. Having worked as a high school science teacher for nearly a decade, Mukoie began to be drawn to the personal lives of his students. He found that of the students who were not performing well in school, there were many factors involved, but the common thread was dysfunction at home.
Mukoie’s desire to help families was ultimately behind his decision to leave education for social work. Like Tom, Mukoie work brings him closer to his past, as he lost his father before he was born. “I grew up fatherless, and want to turn it back around to impact somebody’s life,” he says. His goal is to give back to the community, as he has a deep sense of what the community meant for him as a child and continues to mean today. “Our mission is to help get fathers involved in their children’s lives, and that gets me back to my childhood.”
Mukoie acknowledges the misconceptions that exist regarding social work – that his goal is not to care for a family, but to destroy it. He explains, “Once they get into the program, [families] start to understand why ACS got involved in their lives, why the social worker does what he has to do. The bottom line is the safety of the child. Some say it’s a piece of cake, a quick fix.” He keeps all this in perspective, because at the end of the day, “It’s amazing to hear testimonies from clients who have been positively affected by social work.”