Fathers, who have graduated from the twelve-week program that incorporates classes in parenting, anger management and peer and individual counseling, share a special bond with each other.  For many, it is the first time they have had a peer group, other men with whom they can share their own hopes and their dreams for their children.

Wayne Ballah, dad of Jovan, age seven, and Melbourne Reid, whose two sons, Calvin and Raymondo, checked in with their dad as they scooted around the campus on bicycles, both agreed on one matter. They want to be their sons’ heroes.  Indeed, at this point in their lives, having successfully overcome so many personal setbacks and societal obstacles to reconnect with their children, they agree that they are their sons’ heroes.

As Scott Leach, Program Director, never tires of reminding the over 225 fathers who graduate annually from the Fathering Initiative, “Any man can be a father; it takes a special man to be a dad.”

Alumni Fathers look forward to giving back not only to their own children, but to serve as mentors for young fathers in the program who have the strong desire to have a permanent role in their children’s lives.

Mukoie is now the Coordinator of the Young Father’s Initiative at Forestdale, a program aimed at offering men an opportunity to become stronger fathers through training, counseling and most importantly education.  About 95% of them are high school dropouts who have not yet obtained their GED.  Many are court mandated to enter the Young Fathers Initiative program based on charges of child abuse and/or domestic violence.  These young fathers are here, at Forestdale, looking to turn their lives around.

The young fathers are set apart from older men due to their lack of life experience.  Their resistance and defiance make getting through to them that much more difficult.  Accompanying their young age is a sense of pride, but a lack of responsibility. Guidance and a strong role model are necessary to have for these men to change and become successful fathers.  Yet, most of them haven’t had a strong father figure in their lives, if one at all.  This lack of personal knowledge makes their fatherhood journey that much more of an uphill challenge.  But the one thing that all of these young men have in common is that they want to be involved in their children’s lives; they just don’t know how to, yet.

Mukoie says, “Good intentions do not move mountains, actions do.”  He elaborates further to explain that people want real solutions to their problems.  They are tired of being lied to and led on with empty promises that are only talked about, only to be forgotten.  But what Mukoie does at Forestdale is much more than just empty words.  The services provided through the Young Fathers Initiative keep these fathers coming back because they want to be here.  What significantly sets this program apart is the staff’s uplifting attitude.  It provides a positive and open atmosphere for these young fathers in which to grow and excel.   Mukoie calls it a “sanctuary for fathers”, saying “don’t fight it alone, we are here for you.”  It is this embracing attitude that guides these unprepared young men to become strong, excellent fathers.

Mukoie and his wife have a 15 year-old daughter, and he has been a pastor at his family church in Harlem for almost nineteen years.  He has worked as a child protection specialist, a certified anger management trainer, as well as a motivational speaker.

Too Long Ignored

By BOB HERBERT

A tragic crisis of enormous magnitude is facing black boys and men in America.

Parental neglect, racial discrimination and an orgy of self-destructive behavior have left an extraordinary portion of the black male population in an ever-deepening pit of social and economic degradation.

The Schott Foundation for Public Education tells us in a new report that the on-time high school graduation rate for black males in 2008 was an abysmal 47 percent, and even worse in several major urban areas — for example, 28 percent in New York City.

The astronomical jobless rates for black men in inner-city neighborhoods are both mind-boggling and heartbreaking. There are many areas where virtually no one has a legitimate job.

More than 70 percent of black children are born to unwed mothers. And I’ve been hearing more and more lately from community leaders in poor areas that moms are absent for one reason or another and the children are being raised by a grandparent or some other relative — or they end up in foster care.

That the black community has not been mobilized en masse to turn this crisis around is a screaming shame. Black men, according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, have nearly a one-third chance of being incarcerated at some point in their lives. By the time they hit their mid-30s, a solid majority of black men without a high school diploma have spent time in prison.

Homicide is the leading cause of death for young black men, with the murderous wounds in most cases inflicted by other young black men.

This is a cancer that has been allowed to metastasize for decades. Not only is it not being treated, most people don’t even want to talk about it. In virtually every facet of life in the United States, black people — and especially black boys and men — are coming up short. White families are typically five times as wealthy as black families. More than a third of all black children are growing up in poverty. In Ohio, according to the National Center for Children in Poverty, the percentage is more than half.

There are myriad reasons for this awful state of affairs. As with so many other problems in American society, a lack of gainful employment has been a huge contributor to the problems faced by blacks. Chronic unemployment is hardly a plus-factor for marriage and family stability. And the absence of strong family units with mature parental guidance is at the very root of the chaotic environment that so many black youngsters grow up in.

The abominable incarceration rates among blacks are the result of two overwhelming factors: the persistence of criminal behavior by a significant percentage of the black population, and a criminal justice system that in many respects is racially discriminatory and out of control. Both of these factors need to be engaged head-on, and both will require a staggeringly heavy lift.

Education in the broadest sense is the key to stopping this socioeconomic slide that is taking such a horrific toll in the black community. People have to understand what is happening to them before they can really do much about it. Young blacks who have taken a wrong road, or are at risk of taking a wrong road, have to be shown a feasible legitimate alternative.

The aspect of this crisis that is probably the most important and simultaneously the most difficult to recognize is that the heroic efforts needed to alleviate it will not come from the government or the wider American society. This is a job that will require a campaign on the scale of the civil rights movement, and it will have to be initiated by the black community.

Whether this is fair or not is irrelevant. There is very little sentiment in the wider population for tackling the extensive problems faced by poor and poorly educated black Americans. What is needed is a dramatic mobilization of the black community to demand justice on a wide front — think employment, education and the criminal justice system — while establishing a new set of norms, higher standards, for struggling blacks to live by.

For many, this is a fight for survival. And it is an awesomely difficult fight. But the alternative is to continue the terrible devastation that has befallen so many families and communities: the premature and often violent deaths, the inadequate preparation for an increasingly competitive workplace, the widespread failure to exercise one’s intellectual capacity, the insecurity that becomes ingrained from being so long at the bottom of the heap.

Terrible injustices have been visited on black people in the United States, but there is never a good reason to collaborate in one’s own destruction. Blacks in America have a long and proud history of overcoming hardship and injustice. It’s time to do it again.

(Source: NY Times at www.nytimes.com)

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Ms. Agnew’s response:

Dear Mr. Herbert:

I applaud your passionate response to the devastation that tears through the black male population.

As the Executive Director of a foster care and child welfare agency that works in predominantly African-American areas of southeast Queens, I agree that the lack of education, outrageous rates of incarceration, unemployment and early death among young black men constitute a crisis in our society.

Forestdale provides services to non-custodial fathers who have been ordered by the court to stay away from their partners and children because of a myriad of violent episodes. The Initiative centers on a 12-week course that blends intensive parenting skills with continuing education and job training programs. Men in the program own up to past failings that include drug addiction, domestic violence and criminal behavior.

Last Saturday, we celebrated the return of over thirty-five “alumni” of our Fathering Initiative. Men returned to our campus in Forest Hills for a summer picnic to visit, cook for and play with their children.  The men played with their children on the jungle gym and basketball court, made and served the food and discussed the paths that brought them here. Speaking with these men, I confirmed that most hadn’t graduated from high school; all had been devastated by the courts, and all were seeking redemption.

You argue that this is a problem the black community must solve.  Why do I, as a 61 year old white woman, commute every day from Connecticut to lend a hand? Because at Forestdale we face more than a black issue; we face a human issue. I believe that we face a crisis of resources that never make it into our broken communities. We have five men of color who direct our efforts with over 225 dads a year. Their response to your op-ed was that they lack money to do the work, not the passion and commitment.

I invite you to come view this microcosm of social change, an exception to the devastation you so eloquently describe. Come join our Fathering Initiative participants and their families at a graduation ceremony, to be held on September 18 from 11:00 AM – 2:00 PM. We believe the redemption of these fathers shows what can happen when a community, against formidable odds, fights for its goals.

In the meantime, I urge you to take a look at our website www.forestdaleinc.org.

Best wishes,

Anstiss Agnew, LCSW

Executive Director

The intrepid teens, ages 14-19, visited four colleges in three states including the University of New England, Maine; New England College, New Hampshire; Landmark College, Vermont and the University of Vermont. Landmark College is noted as the nation’s premier college for high-potential students with learning disabilities and ADHD. Many of the teens had never ventured outside of New York City and were surprised at how close the colleges are to their home.

The whirlwind tour was a culture shock for the high schoolers, who couldn’t believe Maine’s intersections didn’t have traffic lights.  Forestdale staff member Jessica Alvarez said, “The kids really bonded on the trip. We saw them come out of their shells and explore interests they never thought they had.” By visiting multiple colleges on one trip, the teens were able to compare the universities by discipline, class size, extracurriculars and campus culture to determine which would best suit them.

“Although I’m only a sophomore in high school, I still think it’s important for students to look at colleges early,” said one participant. “Thanks to Forestdale, I was given a grand opportunity to travel and visit colleges to help me discover just what I was looking for.”

This was Forestdale’s first New England-wide college tour, and also the first to make use of Forestdale’s new van. Two staff members drove the students in the Forestdale Suburban, a purchase made possible through a recent grant by the Hyde and Watson Foundation. In the past, Forestdale has contracted coach buses to accommodate the tours. Previous college tours have introduced students to schools in Maryland, Washington D.C., Philadelphia, Atlanta, Albany and Boston. Earlier this year, a college tour to Orlando was sponsored with free tickets from JetBlue Airways. While on the Washington D.C. tour, Forestdale staff and students attended the Inauguration of President Obama.

The college tours are an initiative of the Youth Development program, which is dedicated to helping young people ages 14 to 21 develop the personal resilience and social resources they need to thrive outside foster care.

For questions regarding the Forestdale college tours and how you can get involved, please contact Mary Ann Grossman, Director of Community Development at mgrossman@forestdaleinc.org or (718) 263-0740 ext. 219.

Princeton Review will assess and mail the test results to the students. In this way, they can use their results to prepare for the actual ACT Tests scheduled for September, October and December of this year.

Much as the more familiar SAT test, the ACT^® test assesses high school students’ general educational development and their ability to complete college-level work. The multiple choice tests cover four skill areas: English, mathematics, reading and science.  An optional Writing Test measures skill in planning and writing a short essay.

Forestdale teens cheering on the Mets

Forestdale families and youth cheered our hometown Mets onto victory at Tuesday’s game (August 24).  The final score was 6-5, Mets vs. Marlins.

Thanks to the generous donation of 100 tickets from the Mets organization we rooted our home team to victory. For most of us it was the first time to attend a game at the new stadium.

Foster mom, Edith Back, shepherded her three foster children and adoptive son (all boys, ages 7-11) to the game, taking a train and bus to arrive in time for the 7:00 pm opening ceremony.  The boys erupted in cheers and cap-waving as the Mets scored base hits and homers.

For Vicky and William Vargas and their daughters Yvonne and Ymani, coming to Citi Field was an exciting first. And Forestdale’s teens showed up en masse, chaperoned by youth  worker extraordinaire, Jessica Alvarez. The teens  enjoyed the stream of planes flying directly over the open stadium as much as the plays on the field.

And how sweet it was for the Mets to win one for us in the ninth!

September calendar

Forestdale’s partner, the NYU School of Nursing Mobile Health Van and its attending nurses will be on campus to provide health check-ups, vaccinations and information to children and teens.

Community partner, St. John’s University, whose Service Learning Project provides homework help to Forestdale children throughout the school year, will be in attendance.  We’ll also welcome representatives from the Central Queens YMCA and the Child Center of New York.

Operation Backpack plans to provide back to school back packs.  Community businesses have been invited to support community students through donation of school supplies and services.

Through long experience, Forestdale knows that education is a pathway out of poverty, homelessness, violence and despair for the children and youth in our care.  Working with over 500 children and youth in foster care annually, we are proud to have 30 young people attending college around the country. Our current focus is to provide educational excellence to students in the critical earlier grades, third, fifth and eighth, to prepare them for higher education and lifelong learning.

Forestdale, which is the only foster care and child welfare agency based in and dedicated exclusively to the families of Queens, works to make foster care a brief intervention and reunite children with their families as soon as possible.

The Forestdale campus was transformed into a carnival-like atmosphere complete with a bounce house, cotton candy machine, team games such as three – legged races and tug-o-war, and prizes for all. This year the families were able to enjoy our new playground built this past September through partnership with JetBlue Airways and KaBOOM!.

“We partake in many events throughout the year,” said Sher Sparano of the Rego Park Lions Club, “none are more significant than or as much fun as the Forestdale picnic. The children enjoyed their beautiful new playground and as always everyone went home happy.”

The picnic, held in support of the Forestdale foster children and their families, lasted from noon to 4 pm. Click on the links to learn more about Forestdale’s Foster Boarding Home and Youth Development programs.